Headlines
by betawho
Summary: A short story containing every single New Who episode title, in order.
1. Part 1

Doctor Who **Rose **from cancellation. Many people thought it was the **End of the World**, but loyal fans, **the Unquiet Dead **who kept the series alive for decades knew that stories about **Aliens of London **wouldn't cause **World War III**.

**Dalek**s had been in the series for** the Long Game **and by **Father's Day **even the **Empty Child **in the audience was drawn to the joy and wonder when **the Doctor Dances**. The series became a** Boom Town and **only a few cried **Bad Wolf **or prophecied a **Parting of the Ways **for the New Series.

The BBC knew there were **Children in Need, Special **kids who deserved a Christmas treat. **The Christmas Invasion **of Doctor Who toys on the shelf made toy stores the** New Earth **for shoppers who fought **Tooth and Claw **for the best toys so they could show them off at the **School Reunion**. **The Girl in the Fireplace **made headlines when she refused to come out until the stores had lowered the** Rise of the Cybermen **prices and in the end the **Age of Steel **used in making the toys was addressed, as it became clear that toxic paint was not the only toy hazard coming from China.

**The Idiot's Lantern **broadcasted the scandal on the news all day, they said it was an **Impossible Planet **where we couldn't even trust toys anymore and that China was a** Satan Pit **for exporting such toys, and that **Love and Monsters **shouldn't go together when a little girl has to **Fear Her **own doll. **The Army of GHOSTS **(Geriatric Host of Suitable Toy Specialists) said that this was a **Doomsday **of toy importing for Great Britain.

Headlines soon switched to covering the scandal of the **Runaway Bride**s, when heiresses **Smith and Jones **were found to have joined forces and escaped their bodyguards by using a **Shakespeare Code**. Fortunately **Gridlock **prevented the heiresses from running far. They were found by **Daleks in Manhattan. The Evolution of the Daleks **(Defense Against Lovers Ever Kissing Society) made a fascinating, but slightly disturbing side story to the scandal.

**The **International Space Station took over headlines the world over when **The Lazarus Experiment**, with it's **42 **volunteers was found to be a complete failure. **Human Nature **is apparently not suited for cryo-revival in space. The **Family of Blood **group "O" was found to have fatally adverse side effects to the cryo-revival process. All the volunteers were lost in a **Blink **when transfusions during the revival process caused heart failure in each patient. The **Utopia**nidea of living forever was lost in the **Sound of Drums**, as the heartbeats of 41 patients accelerated and died together in the **Last of the Time. "Lords**," the doctor replied, "**Time Crash**ed" "It was like **the Voyage of the Damned**. We all felt like** Partners in Crime **for not realizing this would happen. If I stood in the** Fires of Pompeii **it would not be as painful as remembering that **Planet of the **Bl**ood**."

**The Sontaran Stratagem **(Space ONboard Tracking and Return Automated Nodule) was used to return the shuttles to Earth, but this trajedy will forever leave a **Poison Sky **as a legacy of this space experiment.

One happy point did occur in that the **Doctor's Daughter **was cleared of the fatal "O" type blood using **The Unicorn **(a new filtration and purification device, named after the purifying properties of the legendary Unicorn's horn) **and the Wasp **(a new, high speed patient injection system capable of delivering complex medicine loads in a superfast series of jabs).

However, here at NASA there was **Silence in the Library **as the records were compiled for the final time, as well as moments of silence the world over for our** Forest of the Dead**. They flew into that **Midnight **of space to bring us a new future, but an unexpected **Turn Left **left them **Stolen **from **Earth **and at their **Journey's End**.

They now sing with the **Music of the Spheres **as we all wait for the **Next Doctor **_Who _can discover what went wrong and continue this New Series of exploration.


	2. Part 2

**The Next Doctor** has proved to be a revelation! Although he is the last survivor of a **Planet of the Dead** he has had a wide ranging influence from the **Waters of Mars** to the **End of Time** (twice).

In **the Eleventh Hour** of his tenth life he renounced the **Beast Below **of his nature and despite the **Victory of the Daleks** which allowed his hated enemy to survive and thrive when his own people perished he still views his new life as a **Time of Angels**.

With new **Flesh, and Stone** resolve, he has routed the **Vampires of Venice** and approved **Amy's Choice** of husband. **The Hungry Earth** demands more of his adventures as even **Cold Blood** is not enough to deny the charm and appeal of this new incarnation.

**Vincent and the Doctor** were **Lodger**s for a night, until Vincent's nightmare portended that when **the Pandorica Opens** there will be a **Big Bang** and Silence will Fall.

The Doctor used the joyful sound of **A Christmas Carol** to bring them halfway out of the dark. But the future, light or dark, loud or silent, remains to be seen.


	3. Part 3

**Space** and **Time **made the headlines of the world's major newspapers, as catastrophes both above and below rocked the world.

Newspapers reported **The Impossible Astronaut** had his **Day of the Moon**, but **The Curse of the Black Spot** on his spacesuit was revealed to be a fatal oxygen leak. **The Doctor's Wife** tried to save her husband by remote control from where she was trapped in the capsule, but **The Rebel Flesh **resisted all treatment. **The Almost People**-like auto-systems of the space suit strove valiantly to repair the damage. But he died on the shores of the Sea of Tranquility.

"**A Good Man Goes to War**" shoved the Lunar tragedy off the front pages when new time travel capabilities led the government to proclaim, "**Let's Kill Hitler!**"

The trip back in time was a disaster, leading to **Night Terrors** for the whole world as time unraveled, Earth became chaos, the past and present mixed up. High above, **The Girl Who Waited** on the moon watched as humanity's **God Complex **drove them to the brink of extinction.

However, her bird's eye view of the problem and her understanding of the physics involved allowed her to build a beacon that was capable of **Closing Time**.

The happy result of all this chaos was that the change in history allowed the Doctor's Wife to save her husband before the suit killed him.

There was renewed rejoicing on Earth as everyone celebrated the couple's renewed vows in the first wedding transmitted from outer space, **The Wedding of River Song**.

The first married couple on the moon said space was limited in the lunar capsule. But **The Doctor, the Widow and the**ir **Wardrobe **would do just fine on their honeymoon.

What had started as a **Bad Night**, ended up as a **Good Night**. The renewed couple's **First Night** would not be their **Last Night**.

But they fully intended to be **Up all Night**.

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